


Indigo Home

by esmereldagrace



Series: 'Train? What train?' [2]
Category: As the World Turns
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Established Relationship, Kid Fic, M/M, Married Life, Mentions of Cancer, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-16
Updated: 2014-11-16
Packaged: 2018-02-25 13:09:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2622956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esmereldagrace/pseuds/esmereldagrace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Where is your Daddy, Freddie?" he said with a sigh, carefully squeezing a cloth over Freddie's head to wet his hair entirely, shielding his eyes from the water as he did. "Let's get your hair washed and you ready for bed so I can give him a call, okay?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Indigo Home

**Author's Note:**

> I don't actually know what this is? No idea where it even came from? I've been in a writing rut for the past nine months, not managing to get anything finished, but I did actually finish this fic somehow and I oddly feel so much better?! YAY!
> 
> *fist bump*
> 
> So, this is all probably nonsense and I apologise in advance but I also thank you in advance if you do read it. You are so very brave. This monster is unbeta-ed so you're likely to find a million mistakes so I am very sorry. This is supposed to be one year on sequel-ish thing from [this fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1086014) but you don't have to read that fic to understand this one. :)
> 
> Title comes from the [most beautiful song ever](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0WDqWlswQ8) of the same name, by the equally beautiful Roo Panes. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy and thank you for reading if you do! Kudos and/or comments are loved if deserved! ♥

"You think this is a game, son? No, no--it's bad enough that your first word was 'Dada', but now this? This is how you repay me for all my sleepless nights?"

Reid didn't know why he'd even said a word, it's not like his son understood... _much_. Freddie was sat on the floor looking up at him with a toothy grin, not caring about the fact that he'd just pushed over hours of his hard work.

Okay fine, so maybe Reid had spent maybe ten minutes sitting on the rug with him building towers using some wooden blocks which his one year old son thought would be great fun to knock down. Just for fun.

But he couldn't stay mad at him for too long. How could he? Not when he had those big brown eyes, wispy strawberry blonde curls and that cute button nose. All of that looking up at him made each and every one of his frustrations melt away.

"Yes, your cuteness has broken me. And I should know better, everything is a game to you, huh?"

Freddie pushed away a couple more blocks with a screech and a giggle, before wordlessly demanding Reid make more towers for him to knock down. Well, Reid got that impression since Freddie was trying but failing to make the towers himself before then looking up at him imploringly, blinking innocently his way.

Reid couldn't help but laugh, reaching across the rug to grab the blocks Freddie had flung around. "Okay Godzilla, let's do this."

But the game could only go on for so long. After about ten minutes, Freddie fell onto all fours and crawled straight into Reid's lap with a whine, trying to get onto his feet whilst jabbing his toes into his shin and rubbing his face into his chest. Reid rubbed his back soothingly, pressing a kiss to his hair.

"Hey, hey--what's up monster?"

But then Freddie let out a loud cry and Reid knew exactly what had him worked up. "You hungry big guy?" And then another whine and half a sob had him on his feet. "Yeah yeah, you're hungry. Just like your Papa. Let's get you your dinner and maybe your Dad will be home soon and then I can eat."

Glancing up at the clock, he realised just how late it was. Luke had left Chicago after finishing his meeting a good two hours ago, texting to say he'd be home in an hour or so. He really should've been home by now. With Christmas approaching, Luke had been desperate to get all his important tasks done so he would have as much of the holiday free to spend with them both. Reid had vowed to do the same, hence why he'd managed to free up at least two days a week to spend with his family. Being Chief of Staff had its perks. But for Luke, that still meant attending meetings, making visits to other non-profits and catching flights to different cities across the country.

That was the price of having a successful foundation and a great publishing deal he guessed.

Pushing all of his unfounded worries out of his mind, Reid set to work warming up the pasta he'd made for all of them earlier that day with Freddie attached to his hip and not wanting to be put down. However, Freddie had his own special version, tiny baby pasta shells mixed with some homemade pasta sauce. All of which went down pretty well if the mess was any indication. The sauce had been smeared all down Freddie's mouth and his t-shirt was ruined, and apparently Freddie thought his dinner could be played with as well as eaten having been squashed onto his highchair table and into his hair.

There was nothing left to it but to give the messy boy a bath.

But, Luke still wasn't home.

Grabbing his phone off of the coffee table, messy boy in his other arm, Reid checked his phone for any missed calls or text messages. There was nothing. But that didn't stop him from shooting him a quick text to ask where he was and whether he was okay. This wasn't like Luke at all. Trying not to let panic set in, he busied himself with filling the bath in their en-suite for Freddie and setting up his bath seat so he wouldn't slip.

He'd become way too big for the tiny baby bath they'd gotten when he was even tinier but Freddie seemed to prefer the current situation. Especially since he could splash around and play with the water as much as he wanted. He grabbed the baby shampoo and soap before finally undressing Freddie, chucking the dirty clothes in the direction of the laundry basket in the corner, but his mind kept going back to Luke.

"It's not like your Dad to miss bath time. But he'll be home soon, I'm sure." Reid didn't know who he was trying to reassure, but talking to Freddie was helping ease his anxiety a little anyway.

Freddie was unaware however, splashing his hand in the water, not even flinching when the water hit his face and giggling when it did. Reid dropped some of his bath toys into the water, including his favourite, a squeaky rubber giraffe, and got on his knees by the bath, setting about cleaning him with a soft cloth and some soap.

"I think we'd better get you signed up for swimming classes soon, bub."

Reid had to keep a hand on Freddie as he began to kick his legs, laughing himself when the water splashed onto his face. "Yeah, okay--no need for the demonstration." He dried his face with his forearm and handed Freddie squeaky giraffe which he promptly shoved in his mouth with a grin before using that to splash the water around, leaving damp patches on Reid's t-shirt.

"You are impossible. How does your Dad get through bath time without a drop of water on him? I think you secretly love doing this to me." Having had enough of playtime, Reid got Freddie cleaned up as best he could, saying a soft but firm, "No," anytime Freddie started splashing the water again. To keep him distracted, Reid sang to him as he cleaned between his fingers and toes and lightly over his face.

Freddie seemed to be a tiny bit obsessed with a certain blonde Disney princess with ridiculously long hair that defied science. The movie was played almost every morning in place of any other cartoon or children's movie so it totally wasn't Reid's fault that the words to all the songs were stuck in his head.  If it made Freddie smile and keep calm, that was all that mattered.

There was only his hair left to wash; which was something he was a little wary to do on his own because Luke was always here for it. He had a sudden urge to check his phone to see whether he'd missed Luke's messages or calls, but with his phone left on their bed and a wet baby in the bath, that wasn't possible.

"Where is your Daddy, Freddie?" he said with a sigh, carefully squeezing a cloth over Freddie's head to wet his hair entirely, shielding his eyes from the water as he did. "Let's get your hair washed and you ready for bed so I can give him a call, okay?"

Freddie ducked away from Reid's hand and blinked away the water that was running down his face before smiling big. "Dada," he exclaimed excitedly, splashing his hands in the water again and trying to get out of the bathtub.

Reid laughed, pushing some of Freddie's wet curls away from his face and sitting him back down. "Well done, how about you learn the word 'Papa' before your Dad comes home and then I can be smug about that for a while. Or maybe learn to say 'hippocampus' and do me proud."

"Would you rather be smug or would you rather have me home?"

Reid's heart almost leapt out of his chest hearing Luke's voice from behind him. He twisted round and blew out a breath, relaxing a little. That's why Freddie had been calling out for him. It was only then he realised just how tense he'd been this entire time, so worried about Luke not being home. "Seriously, don't do that.  Do I need to buy you a bell?"

Luke was stood leaning against the doorframe, his shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows and shirt un-tucked from his pants, but despite the small smile on his face, he looked tired and pale, eyes red rimmed. Reid didn't like it at all. There was something else going on with Luke. The way he was holding himself was all wrong and Reid was determined to make him feel better no matter what.

Luke huffed a laugh. "A bell? Very kinky--but you didn't answer my question."

"Don't you know me?" Reid scoffed, turning back to Freddie who was desperately trying to get out of the bath and to Luke. He managed to get both hands under Freddie's arms to keep him from falling since he'd managed to stand himself up using the edge of the bath. "I'd rather be smug." He felt a hand ruffle through his hair and Luke got on his knees next to him, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"Of course, you would," Luke said with a put upon sigh. "Always knew you loved your ego more than me."

Reid elbowed him lightly, earning him a light laugh from Luke. "I'm glad you're finally home though," he said instead, and the smile that broke out on Luke's face was one that finally reached his eyes, making Reid's heart trip over itself.

Luke finally turned his attention to their son who was still trying to scrabble out of the bath towards him and fake growled at him, causing Freddie to screech out a giggle.

"Hello my love, Daddy's here and not going anywhere, I promise." Luke leaned over the bathtub and gave him a sloppy kiss to his cheek and nose, taking over from Reid. "Your Papa and I are gonna get your hair washed and then Papa is gonna get your bottle ready for bed time, that sound good?"

Reid was absolutely for that plan. "That sounds perfect to me, Papa's gotta eat, son...and that can only happen if you're down for the count."

Luke snorted a laugh and sat Freddie back in his little seat and wordlessly, out of habit, held out a hand for the baby shampoo which Reid was quick to hand over.

"You haven't eaten?" Luke asked, concern laced in his voice, as he carefully lathered Freddie's hair.

Reid handed Freddie his giraffe again, trying to keep him distracted. "Was waiting for you to get home."

Luke met his gaze and smirked. "Missed me that much, huh?"

Like it was worth denying that he'd willingly gone without food since lunchtime because maybe he was worried about Luke. Reid wasn't so easy to read, but Luke had worked out the secret code a long time ago. There was no point lying to him.

"Maybe, but I miss eating dinner more."

Luke's bottom lip jutted out in a exaggerated pout and he flicked some of the soap suds Reid's way. "Idiot."

Reid wiped at his nose where the suds had landed and cocked an eyebrow. "Stop teaching my son that violence is the only way to get what you want. What a terrible influence you are."

"Like you're not a terrible influence with your horrible music taste."

"Don't you dare insult my collection of One Direction albums. They are future classics," Reid deadpanned. "At least Freddie appreciates them with me."

Luke visibly shuddered before snorting out a laugh. "The creepiest thing about that whole sentence is that you know who One Direction are, old man."

"Who are you calling 'old man'? I am so down with the kids, Luke."

"Oh god, please stop."

Reid just grinned and started to sing a One Direction song, just for the fun of it and to prove him wrong. He _was so_ down with the kids. And if he had an ulterior motive, Luke didn't need to know. He knew Luke would talk to him about what had him looking so upset later on when they were alone, but that didn't mean he couldn't try to cheer him up in the mean time.

It also honestly was not his fault he had an amazing brain which could store almost anything he'd heard or read but he did blame Natalie for using that song to get Freddie laughing and dancing. He'd heard her singing it to him, and it was all over.

Luke groaned painfully with second hand embarrassment, hunching his shoulders to cover his ears. But a corner of his mouth turned up in a smile anyway. "You are the worst, Reid."

Reid quirked an eyebrow, holding a hand over Freddie's eyes as Luke finally washed the shampoo out of his hair. "I think you mean the best," he paused before smirking, "and now I know exactly what to get you for Christmas."

Luke's eye roll was probably the most exaggerated eye roll he'd seen and it looked ridiculous on him, but it had the intended effect. Reid threw him a wink and said no more, instead, singing the song even louder with Luke trying hard not to sing along. But he failed miserably.

***

"Your Papa and I love you," Luke held his arms out as wide as they could go, and leaned in, rubbing his nose against Freddie's, "this much!"

Freddie giggled hard as those hands then found their way to his stomach, Luke tickling him till the room echoed with Freddie's laughs.

After his bath and getting his teeth brushed, Luke had taken Freddie to his room to get him ready for bed, dressing him in a soft little pair of Captain America pyjamas that Reid had bought him for Christmas the _year earlier_. He only just fit into them a week ago. To say Reid was a fan was only just touching the surface of the obsession. Obviously he was going to start an important part of his education as early as possible. 

They were sat on the play mat waiting for Reid to bring his bottle by so they could finally put him to sleep. But Reid was loathe not to watch them for a moment, hovering by the door. Luke as a father was a side of Luke that Reid really did love above all else. He'd always had heart and love and compassion, but to be able to see him pour that into a tiny human being of their own making was what he was born to do. And Reid felt incredibly lucky to be a part of it.

"How much do Papa and I love you, munchkin?" Luke asked as he slowly opened his arms out wide, "how much, Freddie?"

Freddie got the idea and copied his Daddy, watching him closely before holding his arms out wide, albeit with one arm in the air and the other to the ground.

"Good boy!" Luke praised him before lifting him up in the air and blowing raspberries into his tummy, peppering kisses over his face as he giggled hard. "Papa and I love you so much, little man."

"Papa sure does, don't know about your Daddy though," Reid made his way inside the bedroom and watched Luke get to his feet with a sceptical look, Freddie on his hip, "Does your Daddy allow you to eat cake? No way, that makes your Daddy the worst."

"Asshole," Luke murmured under his breath, snatching the bottle from Reid's hand and settling in the rocking chair with Freddie in his lap, his back to his front. "If I find out you've been giving him any sugar when I'm not at home, I'm gonna make sure no one within a thirty mile radius allows you to order your froofy hot drink, Mr. _Caramel-latte-with-whipped-cream-and-extra shot_."

Reid huffed a laugh and wrapped a little bib around Freddie's neck before Luke put the bottle to his mouth, his little hands coming up to clutch at it. "I should know better, shouldn't I? You're a Grimaldi after all."

It had taken some time but Luke had finally reconciled that part of his life and that name. It wasn't something he could get rid of entirely, but he could change the connotations, make the name reflect better things...and he had.

Luke shifted Freddie around till he was settled in the crook of his elbow, winking Reid's way."Damn straight."

As if Reid was going to willingly incur Luke's wrath. With a smile, he carded his fingers through Luke's hair, leaning down to press a lingering kiss to his forehead. "I'm going to get changed and then go out to get us something to eat."

"What?" Luke frowned up at him. "I thought you'd made dinner already."

"You deserve a better dinner than pasta." Reid stole a quick kiss from a confused Luke before he could protest. He kissed Freddie's cheek who batted at his face with a giggle and Reid kissed his little hand in reply. "I'll be home soon."

He moved to leave but Luke caught a hold of his hand, stopping him in his tracks, thumb smoothing over the back of it. "No wait, you don't have to go, Reid--you're tired. You've been at home with Freddie all day."

"Not tired at all, I promise," Reid reassured him, and it wasn't entirely a lie. "Get this monster put to bed and grab a shower...I'll be back by then." He lifted Luke's hand to his lips and pressed his lips to his knuckles, throwing a wink in for good measure. Luke smiled softly his way, and Reid knew he'd won him around.

"Wrap up warm and _drive safe_ , okay?"

A little disconcerted by the worried pinch between Luke's eyebrows that hadn't disappeared entirely despite his smile, Reid nodded in agreement anyway and kissed him. He waved goodbye and blew a kiss their way, making Luke stick his tongue out at him and lift Freddie's hand in a wave. And yeah, it only solidified just how in love he was with them both.

***

Grabbing their take-out from Al's took longer than he'd expected. A little traffic on a Saturday night running up to Christmas was normal, but an earlier accident had blocked up traffic coming into and out of town which had meant it had taken him an extra fifteen minutes to get home. They'd bought a house on the outskirts of Oakdale just before they'd gotten married. Close enough to the hospital and to the town, but far away enough that they could have their own privacy and build a beautiful home in which they could raise their family.

Luckily, the food was still hot when he got home and Reid was quick to shed his jacket, scarf and hat and started plating things up. He tried not to jump out of his skin when he felt a pair of soft arms wrap around his waist from behind and a shower warm solid body mould itself to his. Luke sighed heavily into his neck, the brush of his breath sending an involuntary shiver down Reid's spine.

Reid reached his free hand back and squeezed the back of Luke's neck before dropping it and got back to ladling out the chili into big bowls for them both. "Bad day?"

He felt more than heard Luke's answer against his skin. "How'd you know?"

"Special husband superpowers."

Luke lifted his head, pressing their cheeks together, arms tightening his arms around him. "And what about before we were married? How did you know then?"

"Special boyfriend superpowers."

There was chuckle and kiss to Reid's cheek. "So, you have special powers and got me chili and cornbread for dinner, you really are my hero."

"Damn straight."

There was another laugh and Reid was loathe not to chuckle along with him. "Freddie's okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, fell asleep before he even finished his bottle. You must've tired him out."

" _I_ tired him out? Your son has your energy and had me running around in circles--he's a mini-Snyder hurricane ready to cause havoc at a moment's notice."

"He's _our_ mini hurricane because, my darling, you are just as energetic and can cause just as much havoc."

Reid made a face at the endearment. "I resent that insinuation."

"Hmmm, typical--knew you were the kind of man who wouldn't ever own up to his mistakes." Reid felt the laugh in Luke's voice against his cheek and reached a hand around to slap at his ass lightly in retaliation.

Chili finally ladled out into the bowls, he twisted around and pulled Luke into his arms, embracing him fully. A hand came up to the back of his neck, the wet ends of his hair catching on the tips of his fingers, fingers which he then massaged softly into his skin, his other hand smoothing up and down Luke's back. He could feel Luke become limp in his arms, the tension of whatever had been bothering him starting to drain away as he breathed shakily into his neck.

Reid held onto him for a little longer, gently rocking side to side involuntarily, placing a kiss to neck, saying softly, "We'd better eat before this gets cold."

Luke grunted in affirmative and lifted his head. Gazes locking for a moment, he leaned in to kiss Reid, soft and slow. Reid was quick to reciprocate and cupped Luke's jaw as he kissed him back, easy but deep, leaving a final chaste kiss to the corner of Luke's mouth. Brushing a thumb over the apple of his cheek, Reid gestured to the couch, "Go and sit down, I'll bring dinner over."

Luke complied but got some drinks out of the fridge first. He sat down on the couch and adjusted the volume for the baby monitor, setting it on the coffee table along with the drinks.

Reid carried the bowls of chili and the cornbread over on a tray, putting it down on the table in front of them and handed Luke his dinner. His stomach was rumbling at the sight but he waited till Luke took his first bite before dipping his bread into his chili and finally eat some himself. Luke had noticed though and was quick to take Reid's bowl from him, blowing on the spoon full of chili that was still piping hot and fed it to a taken aback Reid.

"I'm not a baby," Reid murmured as he chewed. He took his bowl back and settled comfortably into the couch, a flush of colour rising on his cheeks anyway. He didn't know why what Luke had done had made his heart thump a little harder in his chest, but it had felt oddly good and yes okay, it was kind of sweet.

Luke had a small smirk playing on his lips, knowing exactly the effect he'd had on him. "I can take care of you too, can't I? The same way you take care of me?" he said softly.

"Yeah, of course you can," it's not like Reid could deny that because it was true, "now come on, eat before the chili gets cold."

They ate as the television played out a Christmas movie with the volume low and Reid rambled about his day with Freddie, Luke listening raptly but not saying much in way of reply. For once it was Reid who felt the need to fill the silence, only so he could keep Luke distracted from whatever dark cloud that had been hovering over him. The distraction seemed to have worked judging by the laughs he heard and the smiles he saw.

Done with dinner and wanting to leave dessert for later, Reid left his dirty bowl on the coffee table and urged Luke to do the same and then kicked back on the couch, stretching his legs out. Back resting against the armrest, Reid dug his toes into Luke's thigh who was sat at the other end, deep in thought. Luke twisted to face him, slapping at his feet with a small frown, "What do you want?"

"Come here." Reid dropped one leg off of the couch and made space between his legs, holding a hand out.

A corner of Luke's lip turned upwards, a hint of a smile emerging. "What about the dirty bowls, Reid? We can't--"

Reid hushed him. "We can do anything we want because we are adults. Washing up can wait."

Luke rolled his eyes. "Sound reasoning, Dr. Oliver."

"Is it a crime I just want to want to lay here with my husband and relax?" Reid gestured for Luke again, waggling his fingers.

"You're such a closet sap," Luke chuckled, finally crawling over and settling on top of Reid, his back to Reid's front. He tucked his head under his chin and Reid wrapped his arms around him to keep him close.

"Pshhh, not a sap at all," Reid lied, threading his fingers through Luke's and resting their hands on his stomach. He nosed at Luke's hairline, pressing a small kiss there. "Even if I was, I learnt from the best sap in the whole of the land," he whispered into his skin.

With a huff of a laugh, Luke knocked his nose lightly under Reid's chin. "Asshole."

Reid just smiled and rested his cheek on top of Luke's head, enjoying the moment and just relishing in the feeling of Luke breathing against him. They stayed like that for a while, distracted by the ridiculously romantic movie for which Reid had already predicted the ending for. If only life was as simple as that. Not to say that Reid wasn't happy, because fuck, he felt like the luckiest man on the planet and wouldn't give any of this up. But it had been a long time coming.

They'd had to overcome obstacles like stupid barista ex-boyfriends, interfering family members and their own stupidity and stubbornness. They'd had to climb mountains to get over their own issues, their own underlying problems that had held them back from being committed to each other entirely, committed to each other with their mind, body and their soul. Arguments were had and compromises were made, they'd kissed and made up and done a whole lot more a couple of times over but they'd made it and _they were here_. And that's what counted above everything else.

Who cared that their life hadn't panned out like a typical Hallmark movie?

This was their life, one that they'd made, a home that they'd built together, a marriage they worked hard on and a life together that was fun and beautiful. They had a physical embodiment of their love sleeping soundly upstairs, a new life of their own that when Reid held in his arms for the first time made him realise what unconditional love really and truly was. They deserved all the happiness in the world, they all did. But Reid knew that they were only halfway there, they still had so much more to see and learn and fight over.

And that was okay. Life was and could never be flawlessly perfect.

Their life _would_ make a pretty good soap opera though.

"Why do bad things happen to good people?"

Reid hadn't realised Luke had said anything until he felt Luke shift in his arms, twisting onto his side so he was wedged against the back of the couch and was laying half on top of Reid. Luke buried his face into his neck to hide away. His voice, eerily soft, had broken the silence that had had them bound.

"I don't know if I'm the right person to answer that," Reid told him quietly, a hand reaching up to card through his hair, now almost dry. "What gave you that idea anyway? Did something happen today?"

Luke heaved a shuddering breath,  obviously gathering courage to tell him what he'd been hiding since he got home. His fingers plucked idly at Reid's t-shirt. "I was late home today because Hannah told me today that James got diagnosed with leukemia, and _fuck_ ," his voice broke then, "they don't know for sure whether he'll make it. She hasn't told anyone except me so I couldn't leave her till she'd told me everything. They've got a baby girl, Reid...she doesn't even know her Dad yet and there's a chance she never will."

Reid tightened his arms around Luke, hoping that the small gesture would keep him from falling apart. Hannah was Luke's best friend first, editor later. They'd met when Luke had been picked up by a publishing house for his novel and had wanted to pair him up with someone who would be the right fit for him. And she was the _perfect_ fit. They'd become almost inseparable after having had dinner with her _once_ and had become the best of friends, Reid included. They'd even been to Hannah and James' wedding almost a year ago in Hawaii. So it was safe to say, Reid felt the same anguish and pain that Luke was feeling for his friends.

"Fuck," he breathed, trying to think rationally. "You told her to give me call so I can look into the doctor, right? I know some great doctors that could give a second opinion and the best course of action."

"I know, Reid--I did. I told her to call you as soon as I found out but she said she'll call you tomorrow."

Reid shut his eyes and nodded, pressing his cheek into Luke's hair. "How's she doing?"

"Better than expected. Of course she's devastated but she and James both are thinking positively--they caught it early so chances are he'll make a full recovery but," Luke sighed shakily, "there's also a chance he won't. I can't even imagine what it must feel like."

Reid opened his eyes and dropped his head to look up at the ceiling, fingers still carding comfortingly through Luke's hair. "I don't think anyone can, Luke--not until it happens to them. All we can do is be there for them, support them the best way we can."

"I know, I just," Luke wiped at the tears that had dampened Reid's t-shirt, "I wish I could do more for them. James doesn't deserve this."

"No one ever does."

"Fuck, Reid," Luke suddenly shifted right out of Reid's arms, sitting up on the couch, his voice hard and devoid of the softness from earlier. He scrubbed a hand over his face, getting rid of any remnants of his tears but his eyes couldn't hide his pain. "Don't you think I know that? No one fucking deserves cancer."

Reid felt his chest ache with the distress in Luke's voice. He hadn't meant his words to be taken that way at all and sat up next to him with their thighs brushing. Breathing out a sigh, he gave his husband some space. "Luke, I didn't mean it like that, I'm sorry."

"No, no," Luke shook his head, dragging a hand through his hair, voice losing its edge. He took a hold of Reid's hand between both of his, kissing his fingers. "I'm sorry, that wasn't fair of me. It's not you...I'm just--," but he couldn't quite get the words out.

"Just what?"

Luke met his gaze, lips downturned and eyes filled with unshed tears. "I can't bear thinking about losing you--I don't know what I would do without you, what Freddie and I would do without you."

Reid blew out a pained breath and shook his head. "Luke, I'm not going anywhere." He had to ignore the phantom ache in his heart that he could feel just _imagining_ if Luke or Freddie weren't in his life anymore.

"I know, but what if--"

Reid shook his head again, reaching over with his thumb and wiping away the tears that had rolled down Luke's cheeks, tears he probably didn't even realise had fallen. "There is no 'what if' because it hasn't happened and making up these hypothetical situations are only going to make you feel worse."

Luke let go of Reid's hand, wiping at his face with the back of his hand and nodded to himself. But Reid didn't want to hold Luke like he wanted to till he was ready, still wanting to give him his space. "You're right, I just have a habit of thinking of the worst of a situation, you know? But what I said is true," he shrugged and looked at Reid with a sad smile, "I can't imagine losing you, my life would fall apart."

"I know the feeling...I love you, too," Reid said in way of reply, knowing that Luke understood the depth of his words. "But luckily, you're not going to lose me anytime soon because I still have a kid or two to raise, to hate me and to see graduate. I still need to play with some grandkids with you before I go anywhere. Unless you have other plans? Because then I can go and find someone else, I'm still highly desirable you know."

That made Luke laugh, a soft and watery laugh, but a laugh nonetheless. "No one can put up with you except me. You'll have a tough time finding anyone else to take care of your ass."

"Wow," Reid quirked an eyebrow and pouted a little. He sat back on the couch and held a hand to his heart. "Such low opinions you have of me, sometimes I wonder why you're even married to me."

"I love you," Luke confessed without a beat and was quick to straddle Reid's lap, sitting on his legs with his knees pressed into Reid's side. He held Reid's face between his hands and kissed his forehead, Reid's eyes closing as he did. "Blackmailing you, marrying you and having Freddie with you are some of the best things I've ever done in my life."

Reid leaned forward and stole a kiss, thumbs wiping away the last of his tears. "I don't know if the blackmailing part was a shining moment in our relationship but I agree with the rest of it."

Luke's lips twisted into a smile and Reid's heart soared. "You're an asshole, I can't believe I've married such an asshole."

"Please, you love this asshole," Reid told him with a wink, his hands rubbing down Luke's sweat pant clad thighs and back up to his waist.

"Ugh," Luke groaned with a small grin but leaned into Reid's touch and gave his cheek a kiss. "And you say I have the dirtiest mind."

"It's the most innocent that hold these depraved thoughts I've noticed."

Luke rolled his eyes. "Innocent, and you? You need your head checked Dr. O."

"Lucky I'm an expert in that, huh?"

Luke laughed then and dropped down to sit comfortably aside Reid, almost curled up in his lap with his legs thrown over Reid's. He fit his head into the crook of Reid's neck as Reid's arms wound their way around him, Luke's arms doing the same. He breathed him in, the strawberry scent of his ridiculous shampoo first, hints of baby second, courtesy of Freddie, before he found that woody, warm and unique scent that was purely Luke.

"James will be okay," he promised, confident. "He has Hannah and Hannah has us. We'll do everything in our power to make sure nothing happens to him."

"I know we will," Luke replied. "But I'm just so angry it had to happen to him. After everything he does for his family, all the charity work he does, after all he _gives_? This isn't fair...he's such a good person, Reid."

"A good person who is strong enough to fight this. If I know James, I know he's going to get through this." Reid knew what a fighter James was. But he also knew that James would need all the support he could get to take on the burden through the rough times. And the both of them would be there for him, without a doubt.

Luke lifted his head, his brows furrowed. "Still, this only make it glaringly obvious that bad things happen to good people. I've seen it happen again and again and--I don't know if I believe in a God but if there is one, God is an absolute _dick_."

Reid couldn't help but chuckle, knocking his forehead lightly with Luke's, smoothing a thumb over his frown. "Bad things happen to everyone, what makes the difference is the way you deal with it, the way you get through it and the what you learn from it. Some people deal with it better and some don't but," he pushed a few strands of Luke's hair behind his ear, "I can understand why you would think that. I'm sorry I don't have a better answer."

"No, you don't have to apologize--it's just a question I threw out to the universe but what you said made sense, thank you."

Reid cupped Luke's cheek, confused. "What are you thanking me for?"

Luke put his hand over Reid's and locked gazes with him. "For listening, for taking care of me, for loving me. I'm sorry for acting like a brat earlier, my emotions got the better of me."

"When don't they?" Reid joked, earning him a swat to his shoulder. "But honestly, if there's anything you can do then just promise me you'll answer my texts and calls. I was worried about you tonight."

A sheepish look came upon Luke's face. "Yeah, I was kinda out of it after Hannah told me and I was on the road by the time I realised I hadn't gotten back to you." Luke gave him a lingering kiss, brushing his nose against his. "I'm sorry, it won't happen again."

Reid thumbed at Luke's chin. "It's forgotten."

With a smile, Luke tucked his head back under Reid's chin. "I love you," he whispered.

"Love you, too."

They'd only been sitting in silence for a couple of minutes before a cry rang out in the room, startling them both. Freddie was wailing through the baby monitor.

"Should we leave him to cry it out?" Reid asked as Luke shuffled out of his arms and stretched his arms and legs to get rid of the kinks. No sooner had he said that did Freddie quieten down, obviously having gone back to sleep. They both laughed at the sudden silence and Reid got to his feet, despite Luke's pout and groan of disapproval.

"How about some dessert? I got you your favourite cheesecake."

"Awww, babe," Luke teased, "you are sweetest husband in the whole wide world."

Reid didn't even bother saying anything in reply and rolled his eyes at him instead, padding to the kitchen and to the fridge, pulling out the slices of cheesecake that were in the cake box. Rubbing at his tired eyes, he grabbed some small plates and opened the drawer to grab some forks when his eyes caught on something outside the window.

It was snowing, and snowing rather heavily.

"Oh great."

"What's up?" Luke asked from behind him before he saw exactly what Reid was seeing. "Ahhh, didn't think it was gonna snow till next week, looks like Christmas has come early."

"That's Oakhell for you."

Luke slapped Reid's ass making him jerk in surprise and helped Reid plate the cheesecake, a smile in his voice. "Shut up, you love Oakdale really--it's your home."

"No, I love you and Freddie, there's a difference. The both of you are my home."

"What about Katie and Jacob?" Luke asked.

"Fine, yes--the both of them, too," Reid agreed, throwing the cake box in the trash. "Now, onto the most important item on the prep list for Christmas other than flavoured lube, Freddie has a costume for this year?"

Luke looked at him with a face that screamed 'do you think I'm stupid?'. "Of course! If you thought Freddie wasn't going to be a baby reindeer with antlers and a red nose, shame on you."

Reid raised a hand for a high five which Luke gave to him without even looking, already stuffing his face with cheesecake. "Mmmm, this is good."

Reid, desperate for some dessert, wound his arms around Luke's waist and pulled him flush to his chest, mouth ready for the next piece of cheesecake Luke had on the fork. "Now, can I get a taste?"

Luke narrowed his eyes and hovered the fork between them for a couple of seconds before smearing the cheesecake over his nose, laughing when Reid went cross eyed. Reid growled playfully and brushed his nose against Luke's before leaning in to lick away the cream cheese, Luke making a sound of disgust.

"Mmm," Reid said with a groan that was highly exaggerated, "this does taste good. Your husband has great taste."

Luke laughed some more and fed what was left of the cheesecake to Reid, licking away the cream cheese that was left on Reid's nose, his smile so bright and happy. "He sure does, he picked me after all."

Reid smiled wide before kissing Luke softly, hands falling to the small of his back to pull him ever closer. "What a clever man he is," he murmured against his lips.

Luke grinned wide in return and wrapped his arms around Reid's shoulders, "He's the best man I know."

"So are you."

Luke bit his lip, his face revealing more than words could say as he dragged him as close as he could, capturing his lips in a deep but hard kiss which Reid couldn't _not_ return just as enthusiastically.

And in that moment Reid knew that whatever came their way and that whatever threatened their friends happiness and their own would be overcome, as long as he had this man beside him.

Reid had, after searching far and wide, moving from towns to cities restlessly, finally found his home.

And nothing would ever take that away from him.

 

 

 


End file.
